A recent article asked the question, “Is modern life making
us irrational?” My first thought and subsequent post related that people are irrational by nature and
that the desire for children is an indication of this. Predictably, I was lambasted
for such a comment. “WHAT’S IRRATIONAL ABOUT WANTING CHILDREN?” and this was
coming from so-called rational people (they being the target audience of the
article). In order to defend myself, let’s take a woman in her mid-30s as our
example: When a woman starts to feel as though her biological clock is ticking,
that time is running out to have children, this is not a feeling based on any
rationality; it’s a matter of biological urgency. A feeling, an internal
longing or desire, or what have you, is the opposite of being rational. This is
not just a matter of semantics; this is simply the way it is.
Basically, I’ve never met anyone who has given a rational
reason for having children. Of course, we might ask what a rational reason
would be for having children, and the answers I can think of are few: Perhaps
children are necessary to have someone to care for us in our old age or to have
a potential organ or blood donor should an organ or blood need replacing or
replenishing. Or, perhaps children are more entertaining than a dog or cat, although
I would not agree with that sentiment.
Usually, though, like the woman running out of time to have
a child, the reasons for having children are irrational. When someone says they
want children, it is because that is what society or culture demands of its
participants or because someone wants to raise a human being to be better than
they ever were or have more than they ever had. I’m not saying having
irrational reasons are wrong or immoral, just that such reasons are based in
biology, or, has psychological underpinnings. So-called rational people never
admit they are irrational, though, for that would undermine their belief that
they are, ahem, rational people.
For the most part, I have never wanted children. In the rare
cases I would have consented to having children was due to either the fact that
my partner at the time wanted children and I thought they’d be a fit parent (meaning
they’d be better at raising a child than me) or because I believed –
irrationally so – that the combined genetic make-up of our offspring would
somehow, ambiguously, be ‘superior.’ But when I see how difficult children can
be, the headaches they cause both figuratively and literally, I see no reason
to want children. When I see how much time is dedicated to raising a child, weighed
against my desire for free time, I see no reason to want children. And when
looking at the cost of raising a child, well, do you have any idea how many
cases of good beer I could buy instead? At least my desire NOT to have children
is rationally based.
It is often claimed that the desire not to have children is
selfish, though this assertion is clearly illogical given that the desire not
to have children is no more selfish than anyone whose goal it is to have
children. Of course, by not having children I am robbing the world of my
exceptionally good-looking offspring whose good looks really amount to nothing
more than bullying, or, robbing the world of my exceptionally intelligent
offspring who the exceptionally good-looking kids would beat up in school.
Either way, it’s a no-win situation, so why waste endure the headache, waste
the time, and subject myself to large quantities of cheap beer? Because if I’m
not already an alcoholic, I would be after having a child. Sparing my liver
seems quite reasonable to me.
It takes brains not to have children, once again pointing
out that rational people are usually nothing of the sort.
