Monday, June 16, 2014

Miracle Whip



“No miracle has ever taken place under conditions which science can accept.” Renan

On occasion, the believer likes to point toward fulfilled prophecies and/or miracles in their scriptures as evidence for the existence of their god. To these people I have but one thing to say…C'mon! How much of a sucker do you have to be to think that prophecies and miracles aren't just the ravings of madmen? Okay, enough of the ad hominem attack.

Sure, prophecies have come true in the most vague senses of interpretation. Surely miracles happen too, because really there is just no other possible explanation for some events than divine intervention. Riiiiight. When it comes to prophecies and miracles, theists are quite ignorant of the criteria needed to fulfill the definition of these two divine words. And away we go…

Let's start with prophecies. A prophecy is the description of an event that is told will come to pass to fulfill a spiritual message. Now, what kind of criteria must a prophecy stand up to, to prove that it's of supernatural origin and is genuine? First, a prophecy must be clear and give sufficient detail to exclude its fulfillment by otherwise vague events or details. In the NT, the savior's name is Jesus; not Immanuel or Joshua or whomever, as loosely prophesied in the OT. You can't toss around the notion that Jesus is just another name for Immanuel or Joshua after the fact to justify a prophecy coming true. Nor can I predict, "Something bad will happen next Monday." Given that bad things happen everyday, and Mondays are typically the start of the work week, it wouldn't be much of a startling prophecy.

Furthermore, common events are not subject to being called fulfilled prophecies. Anyone can say a city, or any particular city for that matter, will be destroyed. It's guaranteed that at some point (no matter how far into the future) a city will no longer exist. Next, a prophecy cannot be staged or manipulated. Did Jesus really rise from the dead (which by-the-way was never foretold in the OT)? I seem to recall Jesus' followers not recognizing him when he returned from the grave. Maybe he had an impersonator. Maybe he didn't die at all, but was just wounded and then nursed back to health. I'm just brainstorming possibilities here. Finally, a prophecy must be made in advance of the predicted event, obviously. Sadly for the believers, no fulfilled prophecy has ever stood up to the test of these criteria. 

Miracles pretty much suffer the same fate. What is a miracle? A miracle is the supernatural violation of the laws of nature. Some of the previous criteria for testing prophecies apply here. A miracle should be unique and be unable to be staged for the amusement of those who don't know much about how the world works. I might mention then that eyewitness accounts of miracles are not the extraordinary evidence required to believe that a miracle has taken place. Would you believe me if I told you I had tiny people living in my air vents and that they every so often would attack me with laser beams? No, because such things are not consistent with the reality we're all familiar with. Moreover, it cannot be shown that a ‘miracle’ has violated a natural law of the universe when not all the laws of the universe are known (or at least not known how exactly they all work together). Reports of miracles may be chalked up to unknown forces and have nothing to do with a god. It seems it would take a miracle for there to actually be any miracles. 

Now, I do apologize if it appears I’m nit-picking the subject, but we must do so to ensure we’re not being duped. It's not likely that theists can rule out possibilities other than "God did it" in their quest to believe in prophecies and miracles. What with the simple criteria I've advanced here, no prophecy or miracle stands up to the test. It is exceedingly more possible that prophesies and miracles are merely stories meant to be inspirational (though I don’t see how) or influence the actions of the easily manipulated. [Think David Koresh and the Branch Davidians, or Shoko Asahara and the Supreme Truth Movement, or the Heaven’s Gate/ Halle-Bopp suicide cult, or…] Yet theists cling to these stories as some kind of truth like naïve little children, afraid of the Big Bad Wolf that is reality. Well, reality is not a Big Bad Wolf, it simply is what it is. In that reality the criteria for validating prophecies and miracles are not satisfied. Such is the legacy of theistic belief. 

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Socrates vs Hedonism


In Plato’s Gorgias, Socrates argues against the doctrine of hedonism insofar as the principle is advanced by his interlocutor, Callicles. The premise, as it is advanced by Callicles, claims that in order for a man to live correctly, he should “allow his own appetites to get as large as possible and not restrain them” (491e). Thus, Callicles appears to be arguing that a good life is a life spent fulfilling desires (i.e. a life of pleasure).
          Socrates begins his refutation of Callicles’ formulation of hedonism by comparing two men; one man has casks that are full of wine and honey while the second man has casks that cannot remain full due to their leaky condition. Socrates points out that the man with the leaky casks cannot be happy because he is in a state of constant need. “And now would you say that the life of the intemperate is happier than that of the temperate?” Socrates asks this, hoping to illustrate that the constant need to fulfill one’s desires is more of a state of pain than it is one of pleasure (or is at least more trouble than it’s worth). Callicles bemoans Socrates, noting that the man whose casks are full is a man living the life of a stone, since he can no longer seek pleasure; he has all he can get.
          What may make Socrates’ beginning argument stronger than Callicles’ is the fact that Socrates sees no value in indulging one’s self beyond mere satisfaction. That is to say, the man with full casks may no longer be in pursuit of pleasure, but such a state is neither here nor there. Thus, such a state is better than the state the man with leaky casks finds himself in, who must work to fulfill his desires. What’s worse is that these desires are constant. So even if the man with full casks leads the life of a stone, to Socrates, such a man is far better off than the leaky cask bearer who is constantly seeking relief from pain.
          Next, Socrates brings up the analogy of the perpetual itch-scratcher. Socrates gets Callicles to agree that the perpetual itch-scratcher must be happy because the itch-scratcher is constantly fulfilling a desire (and in the process, Callicles equates that that which is pleasurable is also good). Socrates point appears to be—akin to his previous analogy—that in actuality the catamite is not happy because they are in a constant state of need. Either the itch-scratcher is happy or is not happy; it cannot be the case that they are both. So, either Socrates or Callicles is wrong. Perhaps they are both wrong.
          Is it possible that Socrates has introduced a false dilemma? Is it possible that there is a realm of sensation between pain (meaning the need to fulfill a desire) and pleasure that makes the act of fulfilling a desire different from being in pain or having pleasure? But even if there is no false dilemma, we might ask whether or not pleasure is derived from the act of itching or from the relief of the itch being gone. It would seem that Callicles and Socrates have different perspectives. To Callicles, it appears that pleasure is in the act of itching itself, whereas for Socrates pleasure is in the absence of the desire to itch. Socrates analogy is not convincing because 1) there may be a false dilemma and 2) his argument hinges upon Callicles taking the same perspective of pleasure. [Which is the problem with many of Socrates’ arguments in Plato’s plays.] However, Socrates does get Callicles to agree that that which is pleasurable is good, an important point in his next argument.
          Sensing that his last argument did not convince Callicles, Socrates takes the possibility of pleasure and pain existing simultaneously within a person and contrasts this against  Callicles’  admission  that  good  and  evil  cannot  be  had  by  a man in the same instance (495e). In order to be exact, Socrates asks Callicles a series of questions in relation to a man’s hunger and thirst: A man’s hunger and thirst are painful, the two men agree, but by Callicles’ admission there is pleasure to be had when a man eats and drinks in order to sate his deficiencies. Socrates is pointing out that a hungry and thirsty man who eats and drinks in order to fill his deficiency is experiencing pleasure and pain at the same time (496e). Socrates then immediately reminds Callicles that he has agreed that a man cannot have good and evil fortunes at the same time, therefore, pleasure and pain cannot be the same as good and evil. The implication here is that having agreed to this particular argument by Socrates, Callicles is incorrect in his insistence that a good life is one in the pursuit of fulfilling unrestrained desires since what is pleasurable and what is good are not the same as each other. If in fact what Callicles has assented to is true, then Socrates logic is airtight and there is nothing Callicles can do to refute it.
          From there, Socrates begins a counter argument against his last assertion that a man can experience pleasure and pain (i.e. a deficiency) at the same time, since a man ceases from his thirst and his pleasure in drinking at the same time. Callicles agrees to this. Callicles also agrees, moments later, that a man does not cease from good fortunes and evil fortunes at the same time. If this is true, Socrates has confounded Callicles again: What is good is not the same as pleasure and what is evil is not the same as a pain (497a-d).
          Socrates’ argument here once again hinges upon Callicles’ agreement to certain states of being and in his own interpretation of what pleasure is—an absence of desire—not in any facts of the matter. It is quite easy, one might think, of when it is pleasurable to drink something—say, a well-aged wine—without an explicit need to drink the wine. If we are wrong to call such an experience ‘good’ because this pleasure exceeds the absolution of desire, then we certainly abuse the word ‘good’ quite often. If often seems that Socrates is using semantics to confuse his opponents. But he may yet be right to do so.
          By this point in the dialogue, Callicles has still not re-evaluated his position that a good life is a life spent fulfilling desires, so Socrates continues his philosophical assault. Socrates first asks if the good are good because they have good present within them. Callicles says yes. Socrates then begins a comparison between foolish, cowardly men and intelligent, brave men. He gets Callicles to agree that foolish, cowardly men feel pleasure and pain to roughly the same extent that intelligent, brave men do (and perhaps more). Likewise, foolish, cowardly men possess good and bad qualities to roughly the same extent intelligent, brave men do (and perhaps more). But, Socrates asks, aren’t foolish, cowardly men bad and intelligent, brave men good? (497e-498e). Of course, Callicles agrees and now unwittingly concedes this argument too; Socrates’ point being that the mere presence of goodness in something is not sufficient for the thing in question to actually be good. So, perhaps the presence of goodness in the fulfillment of desire isn’t so good after all!
          Aside from the conjecture about foolish, cowardly men perhaps feeling or possessing more than intelligent, brave men in certain respects, Socrates has made another strong argument. If Socrates and Callicles are right that foolish, cowardly men are indeed bad people, they cannot be made good by the mere presence of good qualities or else they would be good men.  We  could  say the same for pleasure;  because an act is pleasurable and had a good quality to it, that is not sufficient enough to call pleasure something good. This appears to be a case that approaches formal logic and is undeniable.
          Since for Socrates pleasure is the absence of unfulfilled desires, Socrates shares the view of one of his contemporaries Epicurus about pleasure. For both men, pleasure could be regarded as the absence of pain and/or the avoidance of pain, not in the satisfaction of desires (as was the viewpoint taken up by Callicles). For both Epicurus and Socrates, the good life began in “the freedom of the soul from disturbances” (Epicurus) and it is the pleasures that last a lifetime that should be sought instead of momentary pleasures. For Epicurus and Socrates, there is a clear distinction between higher and lower pleasures.
          Epicurus made such a distinction because he recognized that bodily pleasures do not last as long as intellectual pleasures. Food, drink, and sex must—like Socrates leaky casks—be constantly sought, as they are bodily sensations. Such pleasures pale in comparison to such pleasures as the pursuit of philosophy, as philosophy can lead a man not to be fearful of death and thus, have his soul be at peace. Socrates, or at least the Socrates presented in Gorgias, would certainly agree with Epicurus, and vice versa.
          We might raise objections to Epicurus and Socrates on the grounds that perhaps a life of pain avoidance or of not being in pain is not actually pleasure, it is just an absence of pain. [Arguing over the definition of words and semantics is a time-honored tradition of philosophers.] If this is the case, it would seem that Epicurus and Socrates are preaching a life of avoiding experiences we might otherwise enjoy. Do we really want to live lives that escape other people’s notice, as Epicurus would have us do? Or does the full range of experiences, both good and bad, both mundane and extreme, help make us what we are—human? A quiet life can certainly be had under the Epicurean formulation of a good life, but following Epicurus’ doctrine would seem to rob life of all fun. That seems to be a doctrine few would actually care to live by.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Heaven is for Real! And I'm Supposed to be Impressed?



One of the questions I like to ask theists that highlights the absurdity of their beliefs is this: “What is Heaven like?” Upon hearing this question, I often see the theist’s eyes light up, but not in that, “I’m glad you asked!” kind of way. No, more like the wheels in their head start turning, gearing up to turn out some fantastical vision of their own making. But I think the question is quite fair given that going to Heaven is the goal of any given (mono)theist’s beliefs. If Heaven is the goal, one should have a fairly good idea what they’re pursuing. Given the importance of Heaven, I would think that whatever Heaven is would be clearly spelled out in religious texts if for no other reason than to motivate the believer to follow the rules necessary to get to Heaven.



Instead, what I get when I ask this question are answers as individual as the people describing Heaven. And this has to be so because Heaven is not adequately described either physically or in terms of what ‘life’ will be like, at least not in the Bible. There are much fewer passage in the Bible describing Heaven than the word itself is used. That being so, theists are forced to use their imaginations when thinking about moving to the Big City. But let’s take a look at some descriptions from around the Web that are at least somewhat scripturally-based:



1)     “Heaven is a place of ‘no mores.’ There will be no more tears, no more pain, and no more sorrow (Revelation 21:4). There will be no more separation, because death will be conquered (Revelation 20:6). The best thing about heaven is the presence of our Lord and Savior (1 John 3:2). We will be face to face with the Lamb of God who loved us and sacrificed Himself so that we can enjoy His presence in heaven for eternity.”

2)     “Most of us have heard that heaven is a place where the streets are paved with gold, the gates are made of pearl, and the walls made of precious jewels. Those images come from Revelation 21, which offers us the most extended picture of heaven in the entire Bible. If you ask me if I believe those things are literally true, the answer is yes and no. Yes, they are literally true but no, heaven won't be anything like we imagine. It will be much greater.”

3)     “So what will we do for all eternity? The answer is, we're going to help God run the universe…We will use our gifts to administer the new heaven and the new earth. Bakers will bake, teachers will teach, singers will sing, and I suppose that preachers will preach. For all I know, soldiers may march off to battle and quarterbacks will throw passes. Think of the flowers the botanists will study. Gifted astronomers will go from galaxy to galaxy studying the wonders of God's creation.”

4)     “Heaven has a river, clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb [Jesus] down the middle of the city. On each side of the river there will be a tree of life, yielding twelve kinds of fruit every month. The streets will be pure gold, like transparent glass. The walls of the city will be adorned with every kind of jewel, emerald, onyx, amethyst, topaz, etc. There will be no need for a sun or moon, and no need for a temple or church. The presence of the Lord will be its light.”

What I laugh at the most when given the physical descriptions of Heaven is that if I visually imagine it, Heaven starts sounding like an episode of Pimp My House. Precious metals and jewels galore, oh my! Really? If everyone has these things, they’re not valuable anymore. Is God trying to wow us by showing us how rich he is? Sorry God, but not only do we have enough rich assholes flaunting their wealth on Earth but personally, I’m not that big a fan of gold, aesthetically speaking. Description-wise, I’ve failed to be impressed by anyone’s vision of Heaven seeing how obviously these visions relate to the desires of the person making such claims.



As for what ‘life’ would be like, I often hear from believers that we would spend most of our time (if not all) worshipping God for eternity. That sounds like it can get old fast, say, after a century or two, and I know I’m not alone in thinking this. Moreover, this notion of eternal worship again raises the question of why God requires worship or even wants to be. Regarding the third gem above, why would God need any help running the universe and why does running the universe sound a lot like the things we’re already doing on Earth? I’m particularly incredulous at the idea that soldier might go off to battle and kill people, er, that can’t die since this is Heaven, a place of ‘no mores’ according to the first gem? I’m surely not able to reconcile those two visions.



Here’s the thing about going to Heaven, a place where there is no more dying, pain, sorrow, suffering, etc. God could have created a situation where everyone started off in Heaven. BUT, apparently one is required to suffer first in order to deserve a room at God’s 1,000 star hotel. Not only that, but one has to increase their suffering by denying themselves many Earthly pleasures or pleasure of the flesh in order to deserve being somewhere where there is no suffering. On Earth, the believer is constantly tested (whether by themselves or by others or by situations) in order to be given a prize. And that’s where the catch-22 comes in: On Earth, all this suffering and free will stuff is a virtue but in Heaven these virtues are no longer necessary. While we often pass tests to see if we’re deserving of certain statuses, being required not to pass any more tests means whatever position I have in Heaven (assuming I’ve earned it; I’m not doing so good thus far…) will lock me into that fate. The theist may contend that I wouldn’t want to do anything else but be in the presence of God once I’m in Heaven, but I fail to see how this differs from being a mindless robot with no free will. So again I have to ask why didn’t God just make things like this to begin with?



The typical defense for such a grand oversight in the descriptions of Heaven is that the idea is beyond human imagination or understanding. Okay, so if I can’t imagine it or understand it, where does anyone get off claiming Heaven is somewhere we should want to go? Oh, that’s right, faith. But each person taking their vision of Heaven on faith means that there is no single unifying vision which means that even given a best case scenario all but one person’s vision of Heaven is wrong, if that one person is even correct. The choices then become this: Either everyone is wrong about Heaven, only one person is right about Heaven, or everyone is right about Heaven. It’s probably the case that everyone is wrong, but in case only one person’s vision is true, no one knows (pretending to know doesn’t count) who that person is. If we take option number three, that everyone is right about Heaven, I’m surely better off becoming a believer seeing how my Heaven is going to have strippers and a beer volcano.



As it stands, I don’t see a compelling reason to want to go to Heaven based upon all the current descriptions. Of course, I’m open to hearing fantastic visions, just be prepared for a lot of questions. There aren’t a lot of reviews of Heaven on Trip Advisor and I’m one those people who is really choosey about my accommodations, especially one that’s going to be forever.