Monday, February 11, 2013

The Basics of Pi-ism

[Ed.'s note: People think I'm making fun of religion through Pi-ism; Pi-ism is charged with being a parody religion. But is it a parody religion or is it a meta-religion? You be the judge.]

The Least You Need to Know About The Religion Based on Pi (As detailed in the book “The New Adventures of Pi.”)

  • God chose philosopher and atheist Theory Parker to become His latest prophet because God feels that theist prophets are not adequately conveying God’s messages.
  • To demonstrate God’s powers (and sense of humor) God used Her divine powers on Theory Parker to keep him from actually believing in the existence of a god.
  • God’s existence appears to be contingent upon a question God has. The universe we live in is part of an equation God has devised to answer this question. Our universe was created to calculate the irrational number Pi to a finite number.
  • All living things are variables in this calculation of Pi. Pi can only be solved by its variables acting in a particular manner, thus the need for The Suggestions, aphorisms God invites us to contemplate if we want to better ourselves as a variable.
  • The Suggestions are: 1-Be Good, Be Happy 2-The Best Things in Life are not Things 3-Learn From Your Mistakes and .14-What You Will is the World.
  • Due to Pi’s irrational nature, all things are possible, even the idea that God exists and does not exist at the same time. All religions are derivatives of Pi-ism with the exception of Scientology, which God specifically calls “retarded.”
  • Dreams are sometimes glimpses of ourselves in other universes. These glimpses of our other lives are meant to be a learning tool.
  • There is no free will as far as Pi-ism is concerned (meaning, there is no such thing as you having a free will). This is meant to be an encouraging idea and not the terrible idea everyone seems to think it is.
  • Most importantly, God abhors violence and interference in the lives of others.
These are the most basic tenets of Pi and it associated religion, Pi-ism. Want to know more? Pick up “The New Adventures of Pi” on or today!

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