Sunday, December 6, 2015

Gun Ownership Questionnaire

Should you be allowed to own a gun? This short questionnaire will answer this pressing question.

1)    Do you believe in a deity?
2)    We know about Mohammed, but would Jesus have owned a gun?
3)    Are you a man?
4)    Do you think women should be subservient to men?
5)    Do you have an ex-girlfriend?
6)    If you’re a woman, has your husband ever cheated on you?
7)    Do you think abortion is murder?
8)    Do you think requiring classes before owning a gun is a ridiculous idea?
9)    Do you think society would be safer if everyone had a gun?
10) Do you think society would be safer if no one had a gun?
11)  Do you get road rage?
12)  Are you a mean drunk?
13)  Are you now or have you ever taken medication to control your moods?
14)  Do you take any illegal drugs besides marijuana (if marijuana is still illegal in your backwards state)?
15)  Do you drink Budweiser or Coors?
16)  Do you live in any southern or ‘red’ state?
17)  Is high school your highest level of education?
18)  Do you think the authors of the 2nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution had the vision to anticipate assault weapons?
19)  Does you think the “well-regulated militia” referred to in the 2nd Amendment mean individuals who aren’t part of a militia should own a gun?
20)  Does the “well-regulated militia” referred to in the 2nd Amendment mean you should be able to own a gun without training?
21)  Do you think President Obama is a Muslim?
22)  Do you pronounce ‘government’ ‘gun’mint’?
23)  Do you think the gub’mint is poisoning us with chemtrails?
24)  Do you think the gub’mint trying to mind control the U.S. population by adding fluoride to tap water?
25)  Do you own a gun for ‘protection’ and not because you just like guns?

If you’ve answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, congratulations! you should probably not own a gun because you have mental health issues. And that’s what this is really about; owning or not owning guns isn’t ‘Merica’s problem, it’s the fact that ‘Merica has some deep psychological problems. The mentally ill should not own guns. End of story.

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