Saturday, April 20, 2013

5 Suggestions For Conspiracy Theorists


5. Get off Youtube – Like anyone else, you conspiracy loons love having an outlet for your madness. Funny thing is, you bemoan “tell-a-vision” while believing without any investigation of your own everything one of your kind spew. I might also mention that if you really do pose a threat to the Illuminati/Whomever that they know who and where you are because you can’t keep your big mouth shut on the internet. Yet the conspirators don’t do anything about you. Hmmm, could it be because they don’t exist? Could it be that the conspirators are powerless against the 2nd Amendment? Etcetera.

4. Stop oversimplifying – You call everyone outside your little circle “sheeple” who don’t think. Believe me, as an actually educated and fully-fledged philosopher, I can guarantee you that you’re not thinking either. While the law doesn’t persecute cars because cars don’t kill people the driver does, the analogy is not the same as trying to restrict gun ownership. For example, agencies do background checks on driving records and you have to pass tests to drive. The same cannot be said for gun ownership. See how quickly your argument falls apart?
 


3. Stop calling yourselves “truthers” – Really, you think you know what the truth is? Somehow, you of all people have some special knowledge most everyone else does not? Hey, you might as well start a religion. Religious people claim special knowledge; they’re just not asses about it and don’t go to great lengths to prop up their egos by audaciously calling themselves “truthers.”
2. Get lost – If you’re all so worried about where the United States is heading, leave. You have the option of renouncing your citizenship and leaving the country. What’s that, you aren’t going to bother because of the New World Order’s global reach? Oh, that’s right, we’re talking about the same organization that doesn’t have the power to stop you from exposing their plans on Youtube. There, there, it’s going to be alright. Just gaze into the sun…
1. Stay, and get involved – Obviously you’re not going to leave because you’re all too comfy with your Industrialized Western way of living that allows you a good measure of free speech. So, how about you get organized and campaigning against elected representatives OR run for office yourselves. How about getting off your fat, whining asses and doing something more than just putting information out there as if that’s going to wake people up? You know why people aren’t waking up? Because even if the Illuminati or New World Order existed, people don’t care. So you might as well get yourself elected so you can actually help the rest of the world as you so desperately claim to want.

2 comments:

David McCarthy said...

eek. as one who has never had any use for 9/11 truthers or...

sheepish followers of any other stripe...

i find your argument to be full of logical (and philosophical) holes and the stuff of dimwitted tards. if you really are "an educated philosopher" and want to prove it, please, do much, much better in the future.

theoryparker said...

I philosophize and muse. This post was a musing (no pun intended.) Next time, please point out errors, fallacies, what-have-you and we will discuss them.